Toshi Masi

"maine zaroor bare punya kiye honge jo Dimple jaisa beta mila"...."maine aankhein kholi, aur dekha dimple mere paas khara hai; usko dekhte hi meri to saari tabiyat theek ho gayi"...... is what she has been saying regularly to whomsoever she meets in the last few months.
Its humbling, its heart breaking, and just makes me want to cry.....
"O Toshi Masssiiii.." to which the response would always be... " O paaare beteeee".....in a positive tone, no matter how many demons were lurking within her body.
It seems incredible, how many of these demons there actually were.... in the form of rheumatoid arthritis, in the form of a cardiac problem, in the lungs, in the spinal cord, in the legs, in the hands, in the form of fluctuating blood pressure, in the form of side effects of steroids..... sometimes, i think... is there a disease that she didn't have ? and of course, did i forget, there were the eyes .....
The incredible part is not because of these demons. It is not even because of the fact that she had been having them as companions for over three decades....
The incredible part is not even in her being, in spite of them.
The incredible part is in her steely will power and determination that made her the epitome of courage. The courage that made so many of these demons run for cover when she would confront them. The courage and will that made her do the most she could, every single moment. Listening to BBC, and being so much more well informed than any one of us; on the happenings in Mars, the benefits of tomatoes, the Amazon rain-forest in Brazil..... she was BBC herself. The Philips radio, gray coloured and slightly worn out, opened the world to her, even as she stayed, in the same 50 square meters, for all but a couple of weeks, in the last fifteen years.
Three days ago, in a voice which very clearly could not belie a physical pain, she sounded incredibly upbeat at the fact the Indians were making mincemeat of the New Zealanders in a one day cricket match. "Chhakke pe chakke"...."kya baat hai", she told me when i called her.... making me logon to the internet to read about the spectacle.
Toshi masi has had her share of favourites- from Pankaj Roy to Dilip Kumar to Gundappa Vishwanath to Sunil Gavaskar to Sachin Tendulkar to Atal Behari Vajpayee and she would fight tooth and nail in arguments to defend her heroes. Always the one who liked to be in command, it is amazing how she would manage a household with all the physical conditions that she had. House maids, run for cover...for with Toshi masi, you can do no wrong. With ears so sharp that the slightest whisper would register, and a highly analytical mind always actively at work, toshi masi was indeed a tough nut.... in the last ten odd years, she was almost always in a nighty, with the keys to the trunk pinned alongwith a safety pin on her left shoulder....
I think she loved Kuku mamaji the most in her life, and all the time, she would do everything with his well being in mind. Kukuji likes this, kukuji likes that, kukuji would think this, kukuji would think that..... the care and concern she demonstrated went way beyond the ordinary. The raison d etre for her fights and arguments, most of the time with elder sisters, would be rooted in an undying, highly possessive love for Kuku mamaji.
And it was in that possessiveness, that she would take pride, that she would take up his cause in a manner few could even dare imagine....
I have had an amazing relationship with her...it started off when i was a kid, always perceiving her to be very stern and finicky... if a cloth hung on the string for drying fell down, it had to be washed again. When i asked for apple juice, which she had kept in an almirah, she said it is for guests.... when she was partial to Monty and i ran after MOnty with a knife in my hand....
from all that to now.... i could genuinely feel her love, warmth and affection last twenty years.... a far cry from those little things..... she would be thrilled whenever i went to her, whenever i called her..O mera laal aa gaya, mera madan gopal aa gaya..... O God, it was so humbling.
As the grim reality of today hits back, i can still feel her hand with twisted fingers, feel her roundish cheeks, feel her love and blessings from wherever she is.....and should i be getting in the least sentimental, she would say, O Nahi Nahi....O Paare bachche....
Please, Toshi Masi, wherever you are.. be well.... and be with me...