It has been a ritual from the time I started using a mobile phone , from the year 2000. I would speak to my mother before and after each flight.
This would always be the case - it never mattered if the flight was of a long or a short duration. Just like getting ready for take off involves the crew giving safety instructions , my readiness involved completing the phone call.
My mother would be on the ball , no matter what time of the day, what time of the night , making sure of my travel plans, no matter where in the world I was.
While long flights were always very diligently taken care of, it was even in the short hauls that she would never forget to make the calls. This included short duration flights like Kalamazoo to Chicago , Mexico City to guadalajara , São Paulo to buenos aires , Tokyo to Osaka, Amman to Tel Aviv , Port Elizabeth to Johannesburg .
The conversation was pretty diverse. But there were some standard points every single time - both before and after the flight. These were -
Before the flight -
Sleep well
Eat well
After the flight -
Did you sleep ?
Did you eat ?
There were only a couple of times when we did not speak prior to the flight taking off .
The first time was when I was on an Aerolineas Argentina flight from São Paulo to buenos aires in 2009. It was about 3 am in india when the flight took off and possibly, that's why I think she missed calling. Looking at the time in India, I too did not call.
It was a scary flight . Full of bumps, some twists and a few turns. Seat belts were on for the full flight, there was no service, the cabin crew did not present a comforting look. Many people on the plane were in the prayer mode.
It was on that flight that I made the calculation of the amount of time it would take for a person to hit the ground if the plane crashed mid air. Assuming a height between 30,000 to 40,000 feet with g assumed as 10 m/s2 , it would take between 40 to 45 seconds.
The second time I went on a journey without speaking to my mother was last year, in 2016 - on a KLM flight from Amsterdam to Milan. It was late night in india and we didn't speak before the flight . The plane was hit by lightning mid air and it was like flash photography in a Pitch dark room . The pilot was very confident and steered the plane safely on to Milan. I had also thanked the captain on Twitter ( screenshot below).
In the thousands of plane journeys I have undertaken last many years, i have always felt comfortable and secure because of the strength that love provides - the love from my parents, my family, my friends. The pre take off phone call was a manifestation of this love and the strength that comes from love.
This strength is so warm and comforting , it's like a shield, it's like the Kavach and Kundal that Karna had in the Mahabharata. It protects , it guides, it gives confidence.
While there was confidence in the Kavach and the Kundal , I did have the preparation done for the contingency - just in case , the plane crashes, my prayer was that in those 40 to 45 seconds that it would take to fall to the ground, i should be able to switch on my phone and make two phone calls - to my mother & my father , and to Jaadoo & Ipsita. I would wish for enough mindfulness to be able to make these calls .
In a couple of days, It will be three months from the day my mother transited from this world. In these three months, I have been on scores of flights . Scores of flights WITHOUT that phone call. Every time , however, before take off and on landing, I look at my phone and make a silent connection with my mother , telling her of my journey and the answers to those two standard questions on sleeping and eating . And every time , I feel her inveterate love seep through . A deep sense of warmth and assurance comes over me.
You don't need a phone to connect to the people you love.
And I wish myself Bon voyage !
17 comments:
Sir, an interesting thought which most of us dont realize but is true.
Thanks for writing this. For me its a whatsapp group now with all my family members and for the fear of flight that i have, this helps me provide some comfort whenever i travel.
Such a wonderful and pure connection is felt in your words, the connection we have with family and family-like-friends. My dad makes sure he remembers to call me as start from home for a long journey although we might not have talked for weeks together. And he gets angry if I miss calling him first thing as I reach the destination. It's magical. I know my dad's there in all my journeys, literally. :)
Excellent, Deepak. It would seem that all mothers are concerned about similar things - both my boys ring up their mother every night and they are invariably asked "Have you eaten?". I keep telling my wife that the boys are now grown up and would take care of themselves, but this question never goes un-asked.
Maa is the singular entity on earth who has no bigger interest than that of her child's happiness n safety... n if u think about it... he who is well fed n well slept,is happy n healthy...
The connection between maa n baby never gets lost, its the first love,n the flame never goes out...
A part of maa is within us, she'll always be there. Through the two turbulent flights, when the calls were not made, she was still with you n all your life she'll be with you.
Heart warming read... keep writing... cheers
Read. Difficult to reply immediately.
Very true Deepak ! I think we all have the same feeling, fear and anxiety. Perhaps it is the good wishes of our loved ones that sails us through in all the difficult times. A well written piece to share our common thoughts . Awaiting many more such...,
Well expressed Sir... For me a call to my MoM everyday in the morning gives me same strength to handle all ups and downs that I go throughout the day...
I love reading your blogs being so true and makes me feel connected...
Keep writing 👍
It's been a while since I read this straight from the heart blog. Still fumbling for a response sir.
Very true Deepak. I always ring my family before and immediately on landing. Calling before the journey really gives comfort feeling. Nicely written.
Who are you Deepak?
Superbly said Deepak... Straight from the Heart has gone Straight to the Heart... Don't have any more words to add.
Nice and true feelings.It proves love has no limitation of physical presence...its the energy which Travels through our thoughts and we are empowered to the same to the level we feel about it...God bless you.
Nice and true feelings.It proves love has no limitation of physical presence...its the energy which Travels through our thoughts and we are empowered to the same to the level we feel about it...God bless you.
Very touching. May God bless you and keep you.
At ordinary level of maturity people feel themselves as human being on spiritual journey. When maturity and understanding grows there is transformation toward the feeling of being spiritual being on human journey. This is just like dual nature of matter. Your expression reveals your inner understanding "of being a spiritual being on human journey" These are the persons like you who remain cosmically conected to everyone.Though this cosmic connection exists for everyone, but only few experience the feeling of it's existence many whose focus otherwise overlook or ignore it.
May God bless you with more wisdom, opportunity and desire to share your feeling, opinion and thought. Love you. God bless you.
Dearest Deepak Ji,
Your blog has been very touching and true to the core.Please rest assured that your dearest Ammji, who is in God's care now, is even now showering her blessings and best wishes upon you and upon all of us.I, in my own humble way, will also try my best to do what she has been doing.Meanwhile let us all pray for her to be peaceful and happy. Please keep her photograph in front of you whenever you are embarking on a journey and her blessings will always be by your side.
Your loving Papa.
Such a wonderful expression of words that connects everyone. While I was reading the blog, I realized that, in an unconscious mind, we do follow certain patterns of communication with our loved ones. Before leaving and after reaching home (While travelling) and everyday before dinner I will call my Mumma and she will just say two sentence "Sab theek hai?" and the moment I say "Haanji" she will say "Rab mehar kare!". It is this one word "Haanji" which lets her know up and downs of day.
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