I have been interacting with Japanese people for more than a decade. In this period, I have been to Japan multiple times and also hosted the Japanese in India.
While there are many big and unique things about Japan, it is in the small, day to day experiences in interacting with the people that a whole new world unfolds.
Many times in Japan, I have asked people for directions ; on most occasions , people have responded as if it is their sacred duty to not only help with directions , but also walk along till I navigate things the right way. Sometimes, people have come all the way to walk along upto my destination .
Does this happen elsewhere, outside japan ? Yes it does , occasionally. There are nice and helpful all over the world. However , the number of times this happens in Japan, and the way people in japan consider it to be a duty to help a stranger , nowhere else have I seen that magnitude .
Obsession with time is another aspect, which also manifests in the respect for time of others. Some years ago, a Japanese friend was visiting India. I had invited him for dinner at 8 pm.
Sure enough, he turned up at 8 PM. I asked him whether he had any trouble locating the place or coming over as he was visiting India and might not be familiar with the surroundings. He said he was mindful that he was coming to a new location, so he started early and arrived around 7.30 PM, half an hour before the invitation time. “Arrived half an hour before, then why did you not come inside ”, I ask him , surprised.
“Oh Deepak San, I didn’t want to disturb you as you might be busy with something else”, was the reply .
“What were you doing for the past half hour ?”, I ask him, feeling guilty. “I was waiting outside ”, he replied.
A friend of mine is part of a local badminton team in Tokyo. They had a to play a tournament and assemble at the match venue at 9 AM . However, as a team, they agreed to meet at 8.30AM. All but two of the team members turned up by 8.30 AM. The two who did not turn up at 8.30, reached at 8.35. A time that was a good 25 minutes before the scheduled assembly time at 9 AM; however, it was 5 minutes later than what their team had , amongst themselves, agreed for. They profusely apologized to the rest of the team for this ‘lapse’.
Next day, back at their home venue for practice, the two who had turned up at 8.35 the previous day , punished ‘themselves’ by not playing , but rather cleaning the badminton court and helping others. They also ran rounds of the nearby field to atone for the previous day’s delay.
Remember , no one told them. They punished themselves.
An extreme example of the way people hold themselves accountable for time, and the respect for time of others.
People around the world took note of the Japanese football team’s creditable performance in the 2022 football World Cup a few months ago in Qatar. After every match, the team made headlines when they stayed behind to clean the entire changing room. They left thank-you notes. The Japanese fans in the stadium did something similar . They cleared the trash, and cleaned up the stands. The Japanese coach bent almost 90 degrees and bowed in front of the fans to express his gratitude to them. Back home in Tokyo, fans celebrated their team’s performance . They came out on the streets after Japan defeated Germany in a spectacular performance. They would are celebrate on the road on the red signal, leave the road when the signal turned green for the traffic to flow, and come back again to celebrate when it turned red. While this sounds extreme to the rest of the world , to the Japanese it is simply a regular act of politeness and respect for others.
The two words I most often hear in Japan are Sumimasen and Araigato. Sumimasen can mean anything from a polite ‘Excuse me’ to an apology for disturbing you. Araigato is a thank you. In formal settings , these are almost always accompanied by the gesture of bowing.
With politeness and respect comes mindfulness. It is about the awareness of surroundings , the season, the time of the day, the awareness of the people around you, an understanding of the feeling of others . This shows in the minutest of details, the little pouch for disposing trash, the little button to slide the window, the seat warmer in car seats, the long wooden shoe horn outside of traditional places where one needs to take off shoes. This shows in the design of toilet seats, the bidet, and the cleaning options, which have adjustable buttons for the flow of water, the temperature , the option to have accompanying music while you do your stuff.
This politeness, respect and mindfulness enables tens of millions of people to navigate densely crowded cities such as Tokyo with an unbelievable sense of order . Whether it is the queues to get into public transport , or the manner in which People buy stuff from supermarkets , or navigate through crises such as supply shortages during Tsunami , this deep rooted and imbibed sense of empathy allows Japanese to navigate these situations in a manner that is not just unique, it is magical. The magic that the tiny little things create , when everyone does them, is big.
For sure, every place has its challenges. So does Japan. And it has many. There are many socio-economic and demographic aspects that are manifested in these challenges. Japan is trying to solve some of these challenges. For some others, it is still trying to figure out what might be a good solution.
The intent here is to share that if each one of us were to imbibe more of the Japanese characteristics of empathy, politeness, respect and mindfulness in our day to day life, we can make things better for ourselves, and for those around us. And maybe, even create magic in the world.
