Coming of age trip

Coming of Age trip

Day (-20) :

My son  - Teacher told me that there is a school trip for seven days. We have to go to a place in Tamil Nadu by train and stay in an organisation there which does farming. In the train, we have to travel by sleeper class. It's a 23 hour journey one way . There are no phones allowed , no information taking from accompanying teachers allowed . 

Me- Don't go. 

Day (-10): 

Me- Do you want to go ? 

My son  - Not sure. It's 51:49. 

Me- 51 is what ?

My son - Go

Day (-5)

Me- Do you want to go ? 

My son  - Not sure. It's 55:45

Me- 55 is what ?

My son - Go

Day (-4)

Me- Let's take a flight to Madurai and I will then drop you at the place 

My son - No

Day (-3)

Me- Are you sure you want to go

My son  - Yes 

Day (-2)

Me- Now that you are going , be the best traveller . Go, explore. be with your friends and be a team. 

Be cool, and have a sense of humour. If someone makes fun of you, laugh along with them. Don't take things very seriously . 

My son  - ok, whatever that means. 

Day (-1)

Me- Let's go the station , and get on to an empty train 

My son  - Why 

Me- to practice how to make the middle berth in sleeper class, how to up and down the two kinds of Windows , how to use the Toilets 

Day 0- 

Backpack and front pack on, our man is ready

It's Kacheguda station , platform 4

It could very well have been King's cross station, platform 9 (3/4). Instead of his school, it could very well have been Hogwart's. Instead of his friends, it could very well have been Ron, Harry and Hermione. 

My son's father and my son's mother are both amongst the anxious parents on the platform . 

I scan the reservation chart outside the coach  . It's full of 12 year olds. My sons entire class. 

Chaos. Last minute instructions. Goodbyes. Running along the train as it started to move. Excited shrieks from the children. 

It's emptiness. For the first time after our son was born , he is going to be without either parent and with no way to communicate . 

 For a full week. No communication at all. No news is to be construed as good news. 

Strict instructions from school - no calling any teacher accompanying the children . If there's something required, they will call you . 

Day (+1)

He's gone . No idea what he would be dong . 

The rationalist in me says- he will be fine . He will learn. He will be with his buddies. He will stumble. He will fall. He will get up. 

The parents whatsapp group is sharing their thoughts . Philosophers are quoted by some parents. Some of us become philosophers.

I keep hoping he stays safe. He doesn't fall off the bed . He doesn't get off the train at an intermediate station. He doesn't get insects in the toilet. 

No news from the school or teachers. 

 Day (+3):

Am I not holding my son back by my thoughts ? 

I need to let go- with belief and hope. 

No news from the school  .... Is good news 

Day (+5)

I also hope my son is confident in the belief that there is always a home to get back to ; a place where he is always loved and where he can always be himself . 

Day 7- 

I track the train movement on the rail enquiry site. Timing, platform, next station - for many of the stations in the 23 hour journey . 

With the train one hour away from arriving at Kacheguda  station , i reflect on the last seven days. 

It's not just a school trip for my 12 year old son. It's a first lesson in the chapter of 'let go' with regards to children. It's an experience through various stages of the process of let go.. 

From saying don't go to trying hard not to let him go to enabling him to go well to believing that all will be fine ....

It's a coming of age trip. 

For me....